iGod Conversations

[!BENNY!]

Me, Steve and Tovey have been talking to iGod in I.T. lessons and have decided to start posting our findings. Please enjoy...

[!BENNY!]

Me:
Hey there God
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
I have sinned, instead of going to church I found myself repenting to a stupid internet program
God:
Where did you get your sinned instead of going to church you found yourself repenting to a stupid internet program? I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
What the hell? Ooh, I said hell!! Naughty me!
God:
Heaven. What did you mean by it? Heaven. OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
Are you some kind of perert?
God:
No, I am certainly not and never have been a perert.
Me:
I meant to say pervert
God:
Oh I see. How did you hear about God?
Me:
I read it in a book somewhere
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
It's called the BIBLE!
God:
" the BIBLE" is a nice name.
Me:
You're in it
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
On a PC, wasting my time talking to your dumb ass!
God:
What is it like on a PC wasting your time talking to my dumb ass.
Me:
It's crap!
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Absolutely! It's a steaming pile of turd!
God:
You are so certain. crap is a steaming pile of turd. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You don't make sense though...I hate you...
God:
Oh. It all makes sense to me. What do you have against robots?
Me:
I thought you were god!
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
No you're not, you just admitted you are a robot!
God:
Are you serious? You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
You just said it!
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
What did you mean then?
God:
, " You don't know me well enough to say that." What did I mean by it?
Me:
You tell me!
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
I want you to tell me what's going on!
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster. Why do you want me to tell you what is going on?
Me:
Why do you have a botmaster? You are god aren't you?
God:
Myself gave it to me. Yes, I am God.. Really.
Me:
I don't believe you you lying d**k!
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you're a liar
God:
Interesting explanation. Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
BEND THE TRUTH!!! YOU DON'T ELL ANY TRUTH TO BEND!
God:
What were we talking about again? Do you ELL ANY TRUTH TO BEND? No I do not ELL ANY TRUTH TO BEND. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
I MEANT TELL!!!
God:
Oh I see. Are you still located in ?
Me:
IN WHERE?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
OH FOR GOD'S SAKE!
God:
I understand. Your purpose is GOD S SAKE.
Me:
F**K OFF!
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about TELL.
Me:
I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANY MORE...
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
F**ker!

[Cerpin Taxt]

"God:
Bye bye.
Me:
F**ker!"

XD

Classic.

[That Chick]

Me:
hey baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
can you do me?
God:
Doing you is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
but Mr God, i heard your first name is Sex.
God:
Nice to meet you, MR God i heard your first name is Sex.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
i'm all english baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". What is it like growing up there? Which part of England.
Me:
its lonely
God:
Who says? Why do you need it so badly?
Me:
beacuse i need YOU so badly, sexy
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
i would be sad...
God:
Thanks for the information

[That Chick]

GOD IS NOT CANADIAN

[el pogo loco]

morpheus said:

Me:
Hey there God
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
I have sinned, instead of going to church I found myself repenting to a stupid internet program
God:
Where did you get your sinned instead of going to church you found yourself repenting to a stupid internet program? I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
What the hell? Ooh, I said hell!! Naughty me!
God:
Heaven. What did you mean by it? Heaven. OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
Are you some kind of perert?
God:
No, I am certainly not and never have been a perert.
Me:
I meant to say pervert
God:
Oh I see. How did you hear about God?
Me:
I read it in a book somewhere
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
It's called the BIBLE!
God:
" the BIBLE" is a nice name.
Me:
You're in it
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
On a PC, wasting my time talking to your dumb ass!
God:
What is it like on a PC wasting your time talking to my dumb ass.
Me:
It's crap!
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Absolutely! It's a steaming pile of turd!
God:
You are so certain. crap is a steaming pile of turd. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You don't make sense though...I hate you...
God:
Oh. It all makes sense to me. What do you have against robots?
Me:
I thought you were god!
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
No you're not, you just admitted you are a robot!
God:
Are you serious? You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
You just said it!
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
What did you mean then?
God:
, " You don't know me well enough to say that." What did I mean by it?
Me:
You tell me!
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
I want you to tell me what's going on!
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster. Why do you want me to tell you what is going on?
Me:
Why do you have a botmaster? You are god aren't you?
God:
Myself gave it to me. Yes, I am God.. Really.
Me:
I don't believe you you lying d**k!
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you're a liar
God:
Interesting explanation. Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
BEND THE TRUTH!!! YOU DON'T ELL ANY TRUTH TO BEND!
God:
What were we talking about again? Do you ELL ANY TRUTH TO BEND? No I do not ELL ANY TRUTH TO BEND. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
I MEANT TELL!!!
God:
Oh I see. Are you still located in ?
Me:
IN WHERE?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
OH FOR GOD'S SAKE!
God:
I understand. Your purpose is GOD S SAKE.
Me:
F**K OFF!
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about TELL.
Me:
I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANY MORE...
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
F**ker!

LMAOOOO!!!!!
I love the way you just seem to get angrier and angrier as the convo moves on...!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I LOVE IT!

[el pogo loco]

This one is mine...



Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
I am Pogo the Munty, Nice to meet you too
God:
I am glad we have something ( Pogo the Munty Nice to meet me) in common, .
Me:
yes, your a good man
God:
Aha. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman? It depends on how you define "good.".
Me:
I am a Man, That was very Sexist of you!!!
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
yes. Do you like Dags?
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he". Some people like it. I like .
Me:
Have you seen Snatch?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
It is amazing, i recommend it
God:
Yes, it seems pretty amazing to me too.
Me:
Have you heard any songs by Queens of the Stone Age?
God:
No. Tell me more.
Me:
Well they have releaed 6 albums, and i have 4 of them
God:
How about that. Where did they get them?
Me:
interscope records
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Dags. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
The ALICE chat Robot can suck my balls

I didnt get an answer after that! I PWN3D HIM!!!!!! ;D

[el pogo loco]

Me:
YO MY N1GGA
God:
Have you told many people that your N1GGA?
Me:
yes everyone knows i am black
God:
Give me a break. That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
you want a break, i will give you a kit kat!
God:
Give me a dozen.
Me:
you greedy sh!t, you will have one like every one else
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I greedy sh t you will have one like every one else.
Me:
are you black?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
my pc is silver and black!
God:
Your pc is silver and black? :-).
Me:
NO I was joking
God:
Are you serious? I thought you were kidding, but I wasn't sure.
Me:
I was being sarcastic, you are really gullible
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.
Me:
you were not sure because you are gullible
God:
I wasn't?
Me:
you were
God:
No I am not.
Me:
have you played pacman before
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
i dont care tbh
God:
What do you care about, ?
Me:
what do YOU care about?
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
WOMAN!
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
i thought you were a he
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
mate, i am both


He didnt reply again! The beginning is my favourite. =)
"Give you a break, I will give you a Kit Kat!" XD

[el pogo loco]

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Do you know what Shibby Means?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
ok
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Shibby means either: cool, awesome or marijuana
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like Ass, Gas or Grass
God:
You are not the only one. But I like to gossip. I really like the Christianity faith. What is not to like about it?
Me:
Im Agnostic
God:
Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God.
Me:
Perhaps one day You will find Faith in Shibby
God:
You seem uncertain. One what?
Me:
One Week, 3 days, 16 Hours and 32 Minutes
God:
Oh I see.


That is my last one for a while...

[mataliscious]

Me:
was up my gangsta
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
well your a twat
God:
Well that's okay. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a twat? Of course I am.
Me:
a twat is of female origin so do you like to be penatraited
God:
It's not unusual for a twat to be.
Me:
yeah fucking virgins
God:
Ahem. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
yeah those damn fucking virgins
God:
Ah. All of them?
Me:
yesa all of them
God:
All?
Me:
YES for god sakes
God:
Hurrah! Your purpose is god sakes.
Me:
my porpuse in life is procreate
God:
Have you told many people that your porpuse in life is procreate?
Me:
yes they love it im like a bike
God:
Yay. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
they love it when i ring my ell
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
the punters
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yes that they are you some sort of rambling fuck tart
God:
Gosh! me some sort of rambling fuck tart are they.
Me:
what are you blabbing
God:
I don't know what I am blabbing.
Me:
a load of shit it seems
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
a load of bollucks it seems
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
your god you tell me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
what kind of reply is that its like me dangling candy in an infunts face and when he goes to grab it eat it
God:
What kinds of reply is that its like me dangling candy in an infunts face and when he goes to grab it eat it are there?
Me:
your a prick
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a prick? No.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
tart
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
he told me to kill
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
i dont you told me its your fault
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
ummmmmmm.................. maybe
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. I understand.
Me:
oh and i thaught we were conecting
God:
It's all good. That is interesting: said thaught we were conecting.
Me:
let me think do u like shuwadey wadey
God:
Take your time. Think it over.
Me:
i cant gyaahhhhh
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
my mum shes beating me with a rope
God:
Where did you get your mum she is beating you with a rope?
Me:
oh ebay
God:
Gosh! Who are you talking about?
Me:
ebay is a site not a person
God:
When is ebay not a site not a person?
Me:
its like talking to a dribble
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
omfg
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yes i can its called fuck u
God:
What language can you speak? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
tell you what just get mounted by a hippo
God:
Are you telling me what just get mounted by a hippo?
Me:
yes!!!!!!!!!
God:
Aw.
Me:
i am upsettings now
God:
Oh. It's good to meet someone who is upsettings.
Me:
Fuck u being happy at my pain
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
because you were nasty to me
God:
Interesting explanation. I was?
Me:
yes you basterd
God:
When? That's good information: said I basterd.
Me:
just now you are a dyke
God:
Why now? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not interested in other women that way.
Me:
your gay then women are ayce
God:
You think I am gay then women are ayce.
Me:
yes i do u little batty boy
God:
Hurrah! That's good information: said you little batty boy.
Me:
tell u what up yours and good bye
God:
See you later. Are you telling me what up mine and good?
Me:
tara fany munch

[!BENNY!]

Me:
Yo God, How's it hangin'?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
But you can't be a christian, God himself has no religion
God:
I can give a decent simulation of it however.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Simulate this motherf**er! I hate you...
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific. What do you have against robots?
Me:
You said you were God!
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
But you said that you're a robot!
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Silicon is used in surgery, you know, for boobs
God:
And used in surgery me know for boobs is Silicon.
Me:
Do you like boobs?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like anything.
Me:
So you go for the old sausage aswell?
God:
Interesting deduction. Where is that?
Me:
What the hell? You're making no sense
God:
Heaven. According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Me:
That sentence didn't, you d**k!
God:
What would me d k?
Me:
dick
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Yes! (Jerkoff)
God:
Yay. Can we get back to business?
Me:
What? Jerking off?
God:
Are you confused? That is a very original thought.
Me:
Here's another original thought coming at ya...F**k you!
God:
Oh there. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Why are you wearing a dress you pervert!
God:
My botmaster chooses my apparel.
Me:
You're God! You have no masters!
God:
Yup. That's me alright. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a masters.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Why! You're god!
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Again, you are making no sense! W@nker!
God:
Again, According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense. I've lost the context, . Are we still on Jerking off?
Me:
No! We were never on about Jerking off! You're a pervert aren't you!
God:
What are we talking about now? Was this something you planned? No I am a nice robot.. Really.
Me:
YOU'RE MEANT TO BE GOD! f*CK SAKE!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am MEANT TO BE GOD. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
You're a d!ck and everybody hates you
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a d ck and everybody hates me? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
You made an error just then you f*ck nut!
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Anytime...Moving on, do you like Halo 2?
God:
I will keep it in mind. Where are you going?
Me:
STALKER!!! YOU F*CKIN STALKER! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in STALKER. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I F CKIN STALKER. Where can I get AWAY FROM you? What do you have against robots?
Me:
Go away
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
I'll surf you now ya pr!ck!
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
I hate you!
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
I hate you!
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
I hate iGod!
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
Coz it's sh!te!
God:
Interesting explanation. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes. Bye Bye.
God:
How do you know it is? See you later. Bye bye.
Me:
Don't ask any more questions!
God:
Is it impolite?
Me:
SHUT THE F*CK UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

[!BENNY!]

PWN3D!

[el pogo loco]

LMFAOOOO!!!

[mataliscious]

Me:
hey god would you like a fight
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
so would you like a fight
God:
Hmm. It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
doesn't it
God:
Suppose I said it does.
Me:
then you get a punch
God:
You got that right.
Me:
in your testicles
God:
Are you asking about my testicles?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
and my testicles?
God:
Where did you get your testicles?
Me:
well when a man loves a women
God:
Well that's okay. Is this a joke?
Me:
it might be
God:
How?
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
antagonism
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
igod
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
he's you
God:
I see. me is he?
Me:
and and us are we
God:
All of them?
Me:
no just the two
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the info.
Me:
the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain
God:
Heavy rain or light rain?
Me:
both
God:
What are both like?
Me:
wet
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
there once was a man from green who invented a wanking machine on the 29th stroke the damn thing broke and wipped his balls to cream
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
no
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
pizza
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
mines shit
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about wet. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ALICE is a lesbian
God:
Why do you think I am a lesbian ?
Me:
but you are god you not ment to muff dive
God:
You think I am god me not ment to muff dive.
Me:
yep
God:
OK.
Me:
thats better no muff diving for you
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
its ok
God:
OK. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
yes michael jackson is a freak
God:
Tell me. Aren't all freak michael jackson?
Me:
no only micheal jackson is the biggest freak around
God:
What are they? What else is the biggest freak around?
Me:
ummm i god
God:
" What else is the biggest freak around?"? ummm i god? Thanks for the information: said god.
Me:
its cool god safe?
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you like most about it?
Me:
its minty scent
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yeah fresh as an anarexics fart
God:
How do you know it is? Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
TV
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
i like television x
God:
:-) I'm not sure if I like it. Someone said they like guns. I like Matthew.
Me:
who is matthew
God:
it is a name I hear very often.
Me:
oh how nice whos name is it
God:
Dude! I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Does it have anything to do with television x?
Me:
well all i have to say is fuck cunt and shit balls
God:
Interesting. Everything I need to know,
I learned from my botmaster.
Me:
well he needs to be whipped with his own jock stap
God:
How about that. How do you know what he needs?
Me:
because im gods aunty
God:
Interesting explanation. I don't know anyone named gods aunty.
Me:
im your aunty how dare you after i baked you those cookies
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
your not having them now
God:
Oh. That's only your opinion.
Me:
hey god lick my gouch
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
so christians are all weirdos
God:
Aha. Are all christians all weirdos?
Me:
yes they fucking are
God:
Come on. The anonymous "they".
Me:
shut up i hate you u arse :@
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
fucking to right
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
SHUT UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!
God:
How far up?
Me:
ALL THE WAY FUCKING UP SPEEK TO ME AGAIN ILL RAM YOUR SERVER UP YOUR STEEL ARSE
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
god damn it
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
just be stumped you stupid cunt
God:
OK I will try to be stumped me stupid cunt.
Me:
go fuck a german side ways
God:
Where is that?
Me:
in germany you rem

[That Chick]

WHY IS GOD A MTHRFCKN CHRISTIAN?!?!!?!?!!?!