Rofl at this

[S¢σσву]

What a feckin answer

[punk]

oof =]

[S¢σσву]

You know you are a true Scot if.......... .
1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories -pure class!
7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.
9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date
13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.
14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.

Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin “and how are you today my good chum?”
clatty “an evident lack of personal hygiene – low sexual morals”
boggin “see “clatty”, but generally used to describe an unclean environment or food that is less than wholesome, e,g. “Excuse me Marion, but I would warrant that this Lamb Wellington is F….n boggin”
cludgie – Water closet
pished “intoxicated to the point that you lose all motor control in respect of your limbs, bladder and other bodily functions. Strangely enough, this does not disqualify you from using your “motor” (vehicle) to drive home.
get it up ye Pronounced “Gruppyay” – self explanatory.
wee beasties – small insects, may also be used by the speaker to indicate the presence of pubic lice.
erse bandit - a male homosexual person.
amurny – “I point blank refuse to acquiesce to your request” e.g. “you can close those legs and put some clothes on immediately Phillippa coz amurny gonnie shag ye”
away an bile yer heid – be off with you varmint!
peely-wally – lacking colour in one’s complexion
humphey backit – ? I think this refers to a handicapped person who suffers from a hunchback.
baw bag - scrotom
dubble nugget - a popular Scottish confectionary which comprises of two balls of vanilla ice-cream sandwiched between two chocolate fondant wafers, may also be used to describe an unsavoury sexual congress between two males and one female.


And finally..... .
A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.



Ha, typical scottishness